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A “highly intoxicated” Florida woman was arrested for allegedly stabbing a minivan with a pitchfork — after she was spotted trying to sell teddy bears behind a supermarket.

Lisa Slone, 56, was hauled off to the Lake County Jail Tuesday afternoon following the incident at a Publix store in Minneola.

According to a Florida Highway Patrol report obtained by The Post, a manager at the supermarket on North Hancock Road told troopers who arrived after 2 p.m. that Slone was trying to hawk stuffed animals earlier in the day.

The manager also said that Slone, who was observed walking around with a black whip and a pitchfork, used the weapon to pierce a minivan — but the owner of the vehicle did not want police involved and offered to pay for the damage himself.

A trooper wrote in the report that he ordered Slone to drop the pitchfork, but she refused and walked away.

Slone was then taken into custody by force and placed in the back of a patrol car, where she was able to unbuckle her seatbelt and proceeded to kick at the rear window, prompting troopers to have her feet placed into a “hobble.”

When officers asked about the cuts and bruises covering her face and body, Slone repeatedly said that “she felt no pain anymore and that God was in control.”

The trooper who wrote the report noted that the woman “appeared to be highly intoxicated on some sort of stimulant drug, but did not have any odor of alcoholic beverage.”

Slone was booked into the county jail on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill — a third-degree felony. She appeared to smirk in her mugshot.

She remained behind bars as of Thursday after failing to post $2,000 bond.

Slone is due back in court for her arraignment on Aug. 15.

Online records indicate that Slone’s rap sheet in Florida includes previous arrests on charges of petit theft and probation violation.